Practicing law in an asshole-free environment is a foundational principle at SparkTown. It is, in some ways, a fundamental change to the practice of law, and we are determined that SparkTown remain resolutely asshole-free.
The No Asshole Policy is fundamental to the existence of SparkTown, and your agreement to abide by this policy is fundamental to our consenting to share our space with you.
What is an Asshole?
Although an asshole is kind of like obscenity (you know it when you see it: Jacobellis v. Ohio, 378 U.S. 184), there are a few common characteristics: yelling in the office, treating others disrespectfully, behaving in an uncivilised manner, bullying, harassing, completely and totally lacking a sense of humour, being pretentious, douchy, selfish, rude, or discourteous, failing to think before speaking, not treating others as you would like to be treated, and generally doing a lot of things that your mother told you that you really oughtn’t do.
To Whom Does the Policy Apply?
You are expected to personally abide by the policy at all times. You are also expected to make reasonable efforts to ensure that your employees, guests, and clients are aware of and abide by the policy.
Any guests or clients who behave in an extremely asshole-like manner may be ejected from SparkTown and banned from returning.
The management of SparkTown, at its sole, absolute, unfettered, unrestrained, and uninhibited discretion, has the power to determine if anyone is being an asshole at any particular time.
We aren’t assholes, though. We’ll be reasonable about it.